Hannah Montana Comic Strips
by Plainclothes cop
Summary: This is a collection of very short Hannah Montana stories in the form of text only comic strips, which I couldn't think of full length stories to go with. Mostly fluffy love.


**A/N: This is a collection of very short Hannah Montana stories in the form of text only comic strips (yeah, I know, get to the point). This is a bunch of creative ideas I came up with that I couldn't think of full length stories to go with. At the end of each "strip", there will be a message that says "END OF STRIP", indicating the "end of that story." The content of these comic strips do not necessarily follow the story lines of my first three full length fanfics.**

**Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!**

One day, Miley and Lily were in Miley's room. Miley had made Lily a nice offer to give her some of her clothes.

"Sorry I can't give you any Hannah clothes right now," said Miley. "But feel free to take any outfit from my Miley wardrobe."

"Cool!" said Lily. Lily went into Miley's closet and started digging through it. A moment later, she came out dragging the cardboard cutout of Jake Ryan wearing a shirt that said "I love Miley" on it; except the word "love" was replaced by a heart. Lily scoffed humorously. "_You still have this?" _said Lily.

"Yep!" said Miley. "Jake may not be the guy for me, but I never get tired of looking at him!"

"It's just so sad that things didn't work out between you and Jake" said Lily.

"Face it, Lily," said Miley. "He's been a celebrity since he was in diapers, and he'll be a celebrity when he's in a wheel chair."

"Hmmm..." said Lily. "I wonder what he'll do when he's 70..." Miley and Lily thought for a moment, and then both shuddered.

"Maybe a good _horror movie?"_ said Miley somewhat crazy.

"Oh yeah, just imagine," said Lily. **"**_**The Slaughtfest of Malibu Beach!" **_said Lily in an evil voice.

"I'd rather not think about that" said Miley quickly.

"Me neither" said Lily giving an instant response. "Welllll..." said Lily. "But you can't help but imagine what it would be like if it did work out." Lily was starting to get a little goofy. "Picture this..." said Lily. She got behind the cutout of Jake Ryan and put her arms through the gaps between the arms and hips. "Miley," said Lily in a deep voice as she made hand gestures. "I have finally seen the light. This celebrity life is getting pretty hard, and now I've learned to be normal just like you. So now we can be together! In fact, I wanna' get real up close and personal with you. Starting now!"

Lily knelt down, put her hand on the crotch of the cutout, and moved her hand down it as she imitated the sound of a zipper (which she did pretty fast). Then Lily put her index and middle finger in between the legs horizontally to make it look like a dic with a boner. Miley laughed. "Come on, Miley!" said Lily in a goofy voice as she moved her fingers up and down. "My little friend is waiting for you!"

Miley laughed again. Miley got down on her hands and knees and provocatively crawled toward Lily and the cutout. She put Lily's fingers in her mouth and slowly started moving them in and out repeatedly. "Oh, baby!" said Lily. "You really know how to do it!" Five seconds passed. "Oooooo yeah!" Lily said. "Light my match!" Three seconds went by, then Miley started to go faster! "Ooooohhhhhh! That feels so good!" joked Lily.

Miley took Lily's fingers out of her mouth, and Lily made verbal noises and hand gestures to simulate rapid squirting! Miley and Lily burst into prolonged, hysterical laughter as they rolled on the floor in their bare feet. After a while, they stopped laughing briefly, looked at each other, then started laughing again.

**END OF STRIP**

Miley and Lily were on the beach, in swim suits, laying on towels. Miley was working on a crossword puzzle. Lily's mind, on the other hand, was somewhere else. She was looking at the other young people walking by in dismay. "I don't get it, Miley" said Lily.

"Yeah, neither do I!" said Miley happily. "I'm pretty sure the answer is 'market', but it doesn't fit!"

"_No"_ said Lily. "I mean...just look at the other girls. Is that what girls are supposed to look like? I don't look anything like them. I knew it...I'm ugly.

Suddenly, Miley put down the crossword puzzle and slowly rolled on top of Lily! Lily was a little intimidated, but she actually kind of _enjoyed _it. "No, Lily" said Miley gently. "I think you're very pretty" said Miley stroking Lily's hair. "Don't think that just because no guys have asked you out recently that no guy finds you attractive." Miley then shifted her voice into something happier. "I mean, look at you, you've got some big feet. I hear guys dig girls with big feet."

"Really?" said Lily doubtfully. "Who told you that?"

Miley thought for a moment, then her expression turned annoyed. "Uh, yeah;" said Miley. "A certain someone who thinks he's 'smokin' Oaken.'" Miley put her happy expression back on. "Well, look at your hair!" said Miley stroking Lily's hair again. "It's so...uuuhhhh, long!"

Lily couldn't tell whether Miley was trying to raise her self esteem...or hitting on her! "Long?" said Lily. "Is that the best compliment you can come up with?"

"Well...it is _blonde!" _said Miley. "I know for sure guys dig blonde girls!" said Miley happily.

"But Miley," said Lily. "If I'm so attractive, then...how is it that you get to wear a two piece bathing suit while I'm stuck wearing something that even your brother could wear?"

Miley made a disgusted look, put her hand over her throat, and started gagging. "_Buzz kill! Buzz kill!" _said Miley in a strangled voice. Miley rolled off of Lily and continued gagging. "God, Lily," said Miley. "Don't put nasty thoughts in my head!" said Miley followed by another gag.

"Does this mean you're never gonna' lie on top of me again?" Lily asked feeling pathetic.

_What_ did she just say? Miley was shocked! Did Lily actually _like _it when she layed on top of her? Miley hesitated as she made a somewhat offended expression with her back still facing Lily. When she finally turned to Lily, she said "Just be careful about what you say next time!"

**A/N: I know Oliver doesn't like girls with big feet on the show, but I came up with this strip a long time ago and I couldn't think of an alternative.**

**END OF STRIP**

One day, Miley was in her room, sitting on her bed. She had her history book from school in front of her. She was working on an assignment, but she was having a hard time staying focused.

"Let's see," said Miley. "What should the government do about overpopulation?" She thought for a moment, but then she helplessly starred off into space, and started to picture Gabe Lomotty walking across the beach, wearing a tank top and shorts, in slow motion. "Aarrrgghh!" complained Miley. "I can't concentrate!"

Miley thought for a moment. "Hmmm..." she said smiling. "Maybe what I need is a little satisfaction." Miley couldn't stop thinking about guys, so she stood up, and slowly unsnapped and unzipped her shorts. Then she pulled down her pants and panties, slipped them all the way off, layed down on her bed, opened her legs, and started masturbating. She thought about Gabe Lomotty as she rubbed her pussy. I had been 20 seconds, and somehow, she wasn't getting a whole lot of pleasure out of it. "Ooohhh!" complained Miley. "My fingers aren't good enough!" Miley looked right, left, then straight across the room and saw her recorder from music class laying on her dresser. She then got a dirty idea. Miley got up, walked across the room with an insane smile, and picked up the recorder. "_Hello..._" said Miley with a British accent.

A moment later, Miley was laying on her bed, jacking off with the recorder. She was moaning and groaning. "Oooooohhhhh...Gabe Lomotty!" moaned Miley. "We should do this in the pool some time!" Miley stopped briefly. "Wait, what am I saying?" said Miley. "That could be dangerous!" Miley thought for a moment. "Ah well," said Miley happily. "It's _my _fantasy, it doesn't have to make sense!"

Miley masturbated longer as she continued moaning and groaning. After about five minutes, a sudden wave of fear swept over her when there was a knock at her door! She stopped what she was doing and gasped.

"Miley!" she heard her dad's voice call. Miley quickly took the recorder out of herself and got up off her bed. As she got up, she accidentally scratched her arm on the sharp corner of her nightstand! "OW!" she briefly screamed in pain. She was cut!

"You all right in there, bud?" called Robbie Ray.

"Uh, yeah, dad!" replied Miley. "Just...bumped my knee!" Miley clutched her arm and silently groveled. "What do you need?" said Miley.

"Oliver's here" said Robbie Ray. "He's ready to work on the project.

Drat, the party was over. Miley had paired up with Oliver at school for the assignment she had been trying to work on, and she totally forgot he was coming over. "Um..." said Miley still clutching her wounded arm. "Is he on the porch or right there in the hall with you?" Miley hoped Robbie Ray would say that he was on the porch, because if he was already in the upstairs hall, both Robbie Ray and Oliver would catch her with no pants!

"Well, he's in the living room" said Robbie Ray.

"Ok, well, um," said Miley. "Send him up!" Despite the fact that she was cut, she was more concerned with her naked ass at this moment. Miley tried to quickly put her pants back on, hopping up and down in the process. When she got her pants on, she realized she forgot to put her panties back on! She had no time to get them on, so she just hid her panties in her dresser. There was a knock at her door, Miley answered it, and Oliver came in.

"Hi, Miley" said Oliver.

"Um, listen, Oliver, can you give me a minute?" said Miley really frantically. "I cut myself, I need to take care of this."

"Whoa!" Oliver exclaimed. "Are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll be fine. Just wait in my room" said Miley really fast. Miley exited the room. Oliver walked around the room as he waited for Miley's return. He looked around and saw Miley's recorder on her bed. He picked it up.

"Wow! A recorder!" said Oliver. He sat down on Miley's bed. "I haven't played one of these since elementary school!" Oliver started playing the recorder. He played "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Then he started playing "Happy Birthday."

Oliver got about halfway through the song "Old MCdonald had a farm", then Miley came back into the room with her eyes widened and her hand over her mouth. Miley burst into laughter. Oliver stopped playing the recorder. "What's so funny?" asked Oliver.

"Let's just say, that thing has been in other places besides my mouth!" said Miley.

Oliver looked at the recorder squeamishly and winced. "OH NO!" yelled Oliver. "It hasn't been in _Jackson's _mouth, has it?"

"Thank God no," said Miley smiling. "Otherwise I wouldn't play with it-...uh, I mean, play it."

Oliver looked at the recorder again, and laughed. He knew exactly what Miley was implying. Oliver stood up. "Miley," said Oliver. "You're a girl, it's not so bad. As a matter of fact..." Oliver gave the recorder one solid lick as he made an aggressive verbal noise. Miley smiled and nodded at Oliver flirtatiously.

**END OF STRIP**

** Original scene from actual episode of "Hannah Montana"**

Miley and Lily were in the gym at their school with a bunch of other people. They were trying out for the cheer leading team. It was now Lily's turn to show the coach what she had to offer. So far, she had done terrible, and now she was about to improvise. "Oh no!" said Miley from on the bleachers. "I only taught her one cheer! I can't watch!" Miley and the girl she was sitting next to hugged in fear.

Lily started moving around while doing a little cheer.

"_You might be good at football,_

_You might be good a track,_

_But when it comes to basketball _

_You might as well step back!"_

**Alternate cheer**

"_You might be good at football,_

_You might be good at track,_

_But when it comes to basketball_

_You're really high on crack!"_

**END OF STRIP**

**Original scene from actual episode of "Hannah Montana"**

Miley was with Jake Ryan on the deserted beach in the middle of the night. She was really nervous because she was about to tell him her secret. She was wearing her Hannah Montana clothes and concealing her wig right underneath a trench coat. "Jake, you were totally honest with me..." Miley began. "And I have a secret too...and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"Well, come on, Miley," said Jake. "How bad can it be?" Jake paused. "You're not married, are you?"

**Alternate line**

"Jake, you were totally honest with me..." Miley began. "And I have a secret too...and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"Well, come on, Miley," said Jake. "How bad can it be? I mean...you're not a _hermaphrodite, _are you?" Miley gave Jake an offended look.

**A/N: Considering Miley is wearing a trench coat in this scene, it's no surprise Jake would think that!**

**END OF STRIP**

Miley and Oliver were at Lily's house, where Lily's mom told them she was in bed. It was 3:00 p.m. They headed up the stairs. "I cannot believe she's still asleep!" said Miley as they went up the stairs. "It's the last day of Christmas vacation, and this is what she wants to do!" Miley and Oliver entered Lily's room where Lily was sleeping in her bed. Miley started to gently shake Lily. "Lily!" said Miley quietly. "Time to get up!"

Lily suddenly started talking in her sleep. "Ooohhh, lick my pussy, Ashley Tisdale" said Lily in her sleep. Miley quickly turned to Oliver and put her hand up to her mouth in pleasant shock.

"Ooooooooooo!" said Oliver quiet and high pitched.

Miley started shaking Lily again. "Lily! Honey!" said Miley quietly and sweetly. "Time to get those cute clothes you wanted!"

"Hey, hold it! Hold it!" whispered Oliver. "You're not gonna' wake her up _now, _are you? I want to hear if she says more things!"

"Me too," said Miley smiling. "But we're kind of pressed for time." Miley started shaking Lily again. "Lily! Wake up, you sleeping princess!"

Lily started moaning and shaking her head, and then woke up. She sat up with her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Miley? Oliver?" said Lily. Miley and Oliver smiled and waved at Lily. "Man!" complained Lily. "Why'd you have to wake me up now? I was right in the middle of a dream about..." Lily hesitated as Miley and Oliver smiled at her. "Orlando Bloom!" said Lily slowly followed by a nervous chuckle. Miley and Oliver laughed. _"What is so funny?"_

**END OF STRIP**

Miley and Jackson were eating breakfast at home. Jackson was dressed, but Miley was still in her pajamas. Jackson picked a piece of snot out of his nose and stuck it under the chair. "Oh God, Jackson," said Miley. "Not while I'm eating!"

"I thought the same thing when you were here watchin' a movie with Colin Cypret" said Jackson. "I will never get that giggling and cuddling outa' mah' head!"

"Well that's normal!" said Miley. "At least I don't have a bunch of disgusting habits! Jackson, you've grossed me out so much, I think it's about time _I _grossed _you _out" said Miley showing personality with the last four words.

"_Hoh' yeah!_" said Jackson sarcastically. "You're a neat, clean, dainty girl. How are _you _ever gonna' be half as gross and disgustin' as I am?" Miley thought for a moment, then formed an evil smile. She got up, paused briefly, then gave Jackson a kiss on the cheek! "Eeewww!" Jackson exclaimed. Miley embraced Jackson as Jackson leaned sideways to try to dodge her. Miley kissed Jackson three more times. "Bleeeeeeeaaaaacccchhh!" said Jackson. "Sister cooties! Sister cooties!"

"I love you, Jackson!" said Miley in a goofy voice. Miley started kissing Jackson rapidly as Jackson groveled in disgust. "Come on!" said Miley. "Give your sister a kiss!" Miley kissed Jackson more.

"BLLLLLLLEEEECCCCCHHHH!" groveled Jackson.

"Count your blessings, big bro'," said Miley smiling. "This is the closest to a girlfriend you'll ever get!" Miley kissed Jackson more. Then Miley started licking Jackson's face!

"ELLLLLLLLLLLECCCCCCCCHHHHHH!" Jackson exclaimed. When Jackson finally escaped from Miley's grasp, he got out of the chair as he screamed for a split second, then ran to the center of the room. He wiped the side of his face and stretched his arms downward with his fingers curved. "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUCK!" Jackson exclaimed. "I gotta' wash mah' face!" said Jackson. Jackson ran toward the bathroom as Miley engaged in prolonged, hysterical laughter.

But then suddenly, a thought occurred to Miley and she stopped laughing. "Uh oh..." said Miley. She wiped her mouth and looked at her hand in dismay. "What did I just do?" Miley said. "!" Miley ran out of the room and up the stairs.

A moment later, Miley was brushing her teeth in her bathroom. Not only was she brushing her teeth, but she also brushed her tongue!

Another moment later, Miley put mouthwash in her mouth, gargled, sloshed it around inside her mouth, and spit it into the sink. Then, she did exactly what Jackson did. Miley stretched her arms downward with her fingers curved, and yelled "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUCK!"

**END OF STRIP**

** Demi Lovoto guest stars in this strip**

Miley and Lily were in the hall at school. They were looking at another girl who was talking to a few other people. "Check out Christy Schmidson" said Miley. "Look at that charming face and that long, dark brown hair."

"Yeah..." said Lily bashfully. "She's also got awesome boobs and _orgasmic _feet."

"Oh, Lily," said Miley humorously. "That is so like you to focus on the _good _parts!"

"I'd do anything to go to the dance with _her"_ said Lily.

"Then why don't you ask her?" said Miley.

The thought of doing that really scared Lily. Lily stopped gawking at Christy and turned to Miley. "Oh...M-Miley..." stuttered Lily. "I-...I don't know if she likes girls, and...you know I'm not used to making the first move."

Miley put her hands on Lily's shoulders. She wanted to give her BFF all the support she needed. "_Lily..."_ said Miley. "If you want to have same sex hookups, you _learn _to make the first move. In an opposite sex hookup, typically that's the guy's job. But, who's going to make the first move in a _same _sex hookup, hmmm?"

"Whoa..." said Lily feeling scared. "You make a valid point."

"Come on, Lily," said Miley. "I made the first move with you, now it's your turn." Lily trembled. "_So go for it, sista'!" _said Miley dramatically.

Miley gave Lily a little push towards Christy. "Whoa!" said Lily quietly. The other people around Christy started to walk away, then, with all the courage she had, Lily started to approach her. "Hi..." said Lily in a squeaky voice. Lily cleared her throat. "Hi, Christy" said Lily.

"Hey there, Lily!" said Christy in a jolly voice. "Wow! That's the first time _you've _said anything to me!"

Christy's voice was a little intimidating, but very pleasant. "Whoa," said Lily half scared half flattered. "You mean you know who I am?"

"Well," said Christy. "I overheard your name in English class, if that's what you mean!"

"Um...um...um..." stuttered Lily.

"_Yes? Yes? Yes?" _said Christy with a big smile.

Lily was so nervous, especially since she was trying to ask out the same sex. "Um..." said Lily. "Did you ever consider trying out for the school play, Christy? 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'? I think you would make an excellent Katrina Vantasm!" Lily was getting off subject, but at least she thought of something to say to her.

"AWWWWWWWW!" said Christy very happily. "Why _thank you, _Lily! Do you think I'm a good actress?"

"Uh...yeah! I've...seen you in drama class!" said Lily. "_And I think you're hot"_ said Lily under her breath.

"What was that?" asked Christy.

"Uh..." said Lily. "You should give it all you got!"

"Well, maybe;" said Christy. "I haven't thought about it much."

"Um..." said Lily. "You should! I mean..." Lily started to fidget her fingers. "You definitely have what it takes to make the guys jealous!" Christy laughed. "_And the girls" _said Lily under her breath.

"Pardon?" said Christy.

"Nothing!" said Lily humorously.

There was a brief moment of silence as Lily hesitated. "_Come on, Lily!"_ whispered Miley from a distance.

"Well, I guess I'll go meet my other friends!" said Christy. "Bye, Lily!"

Christy started to walk away, then Lily blurted out frantically "_Will you go to the dance with me?"_

Christy stopped walking, turned around, and walked back up to Lily. "What?" said Christy smiling. "_What _did you say, Lily?"

"Will you got to the dance with me?" said Lily in a squeaky voice.

"Lower and slower" said Christy making a gesture.

"Will you go to the dance with me?" muttered Lily.

Still smiling, Christy scoffed. "Now you're muttering!" said Christy.

"WILL...YOU...GO...TO THE DANCE WITH ME!" said Lily trying to make the message clear. "There! I said it!" Christy burst into hysterical laughter as she pounded her fist against the lockers. Lily laughed weakly, not knowing what Christy was thinking. After about ten seconds, Christy stopped laughing and looked at Lily. "Are you laughing blissfully or are you laughing at me?" asked Lily.

"SURE, LILY!" said Christy happily. "I'll go to the dance with you!"

Wow! Did she actually say "yes"? The first girl besides Miley and Joanie said yes? This seemed too good to be true! How many non straight girls were there in the school? Lily had considered what Oliver told her about female behavior before, but somehow, she was still surprised!

From eight feet away, Miley mouthed the word "_Yes!" _making a victory fist. "YOU WILL?" Lily exclaimed. "Oh, happy day! Happy day!" cheered Lily jumping up and down and clapping. "YES! YES! YES!"

"Wo-how, Lily!" said Christy. "I didn't even know you weren't straight!"

"Well...you know what they say" said Lily. "Gotta' follow your heart" said Lily with a happy sob as she put her hand over her heart. "_And your pussy!" _said Lily as she rubbed her crotch briefly. Christy, Miley, and Lily all burst into prolonged, hysterical laughter.

"So far," said Christy after the laughter subsided. "I think you're really sweet, Lily! And there's no reason why I can't go to the dance with a girl! Besides, it's cheaper!" Suddenly, the bell rang, and people started walking through the hall. Christy moved closer to Lily and embraced her. Lily returned the embrace as she made a blissful squeak. "How about we get together at lunch and talk about how we meet, kay'?" said Christy.

"_Ok" _said Lily bashfully.

Christy broke off the embrace and started to walk away. She blew Lily a kiss on her way down the hall. Lily smiled and twisted her hair. Miley came back up to Lily and said dramatically "_Way ta' go, sista'!"_ She gave Lily a high five. Miley and Lily joined hands and started jumping up and down. "YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!"

**END OF STRIP**

Oliver was at the mall, holding his cell phone, pacing back and forth. He had just had a conflict with Lily (don't ask), and Lily was mad at him. Oliver really didn't mean any harm, and he just wanted to bury the hatchet. Oliver had been trying to contact Lily for quite a while now, and he got the feeling she was avoiding him. "Come on, Lily! Pick up!" said Oliver. "Hello? Lily?"

Meanwhile, the other line was on the beach. Lily was right there with Miley, sitting at a picnic table. Only Lily wasn't holding the phone, it was Miley. "It's me, Miley" said Miley answering Oliver. "Here, I'll put Lily on." Miley handed Lily the phone, but she didn't take it right away. "Come on, Lily," said Miley. "Just talk to him; you gotta' work this out."

Lily took the phone. "Beep beep beep!" said Lily. "The number you have dialed, 874-4086, has been disconnected." Oliver was half puzzled, half disgusted. Lily gave the phone back to Miley. "There," said Lily. "I talked to him."

"Lily, I swear," said Miley sternly. "If you don't talk to Oliver...I'm gonna' pull off you shirt and suck your nipples right in front of all these people!"

WHOA! Did Miley really mean that? Or was it just an empty threat? If she really did that, she would be taking a bullet herself too! How far was she willing to go to save this trio? Needless to say, Lily was intimidated. "_You wouldn't!" _said Lily scared.

"TRY ME!" yelled Miley handing Lily back the phone. Lily nervously took the phone with her hand vibrating.

**A/N: If the actual writers of "Hannah Montana" read this strip, I'll bet they'd say "'The number has been disconnected?' Why didn't _we _think of that?"**

**END OF STRIP**

Miley was at school, in the hallway, with Lily by her side. She was talking to an anonymous girl. "So, Miley," said the girl. "Have you ever had sex?"

Miley hesitated. "Um...yes" said Miley.

"Ooo!" said the girl. "Who was the lucky guy?"

"He's right next to me" said Miley as she nudged Lily.

The anonymous girl laughed. "OK, so you like girls!" said the girl. "But have you ever had sex with a _guy?"_

"Eh...sort of" said Miley.

"So who was the lucky guy?" asked the girl happily.

Miley frowned and held up her index and middle finger. "These two guys" said Miley. The girl laughed again.

**END OF STRIP**

Miley, Lily, and Oliver were watching a movie at Miley's house. They had rented a movie from the video store, and they had a little trouble agreeing on which one to rent. Basically, Miley and Lily wanted to see a chick flick, and Oliver wanted to see action. They ended up going with the chick flick.

Miley and Lily were sitting on either side of Oliver. They were in the middle of a scene where the potential couple were talking. "Gee," said the girl on the T.V. "It's kind of ironic how you're a celebrity, living like a king, and yet you still seek alternative entertainment on the internet."

"Yeah," said the guy on the T.V. "I'm a big fan of the fake celebrity porn sites. They do have quite a few pictures of you on those sites, but I don't normally go for them. I mean, I get to see the _real _you every day! How rewarding is that?"

"AWWWWWWWWW!" said Miley and Lily. Oliver rolled his eyes.

"I wanted to watch 'The Marshall at Sea', but _nooo_" said Oliver. "I'm outnumbered, so I ended up watching 'Fallling for a Co-Star.'"

"It's a good thing I auditioned for the show," said the girl on T.V. "Otherwise we never would have met. You know, there's this big rumor out there that the celebrities we love and worship today aren't all they're cracked up to be in real life. But it's wonderful knowing a star like you!"

Lily leaned over Oliver towards Miley. "Gee, now who does that remind me of?" said Lily with a smile.

Miley leaned over Oliver towards Lily. "I think I know..." said Miley. With that, Miley and Lily started to kiss.

Oliver stared at them in shock! He didn't like the movie, but things suddenly got a lot more interesting! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Oliver with his fist in the air. Miley and Lily broke off their kiss and looked at Oliver. Oliver lowered his hand in embarrassment.

"Do you _like _watching us kiss, Oliver?"

Oliver hesitated. "Now why would I think that about two girls who I don't have romantic feelings for?" said Oliver.

"Maybe because you're a guy?" flirted Lily.

"Maybe because you're physically attracted to us and you don't want to admit it?" flirted Miley.

Oliver hesitated again. "No..." said Oliver. "No no NO! You two are my girl buds and nothing more!"

"Suit yourself" said Miley.

"Whatever you say" said Lily. Miley and Lily focused back on the T.V. as they leaned forward. Oliver layed back. He looked at Miley, he looked at Lily, then looked forward. He mouthed the word "HOO!"

**END OF STRIP**

**Original scene from actual episode of "Hannah Montana" with new lines added**

Jackson was having an argument with his dad in the kitchen. Robbie Ray was sick of Jackson staying home doing nothing. Jackson had received a lot of pressure from him to go to college. "Tommorow," said Robbie Ray. "College! A.M.! That means...the morning!"

"No, it means _a _morning!" said Jackson. "Not _the _morning, otherwise it would be _T._M.! Yeesh, and I'm the one who has ta' go ta' college!" With that, Jackson left the room.

"Write a tell all book about Miley?" said Robbie Ray out loud. "That's not a bad idea." Robbie Ray turned around, and was surprised to see Miley standing right there! "GNA!" screamed Robbie Ray.

"I heard that!" said Miley. She paused. "Are you forgetting you're not the only celebrity in this house?"

"Aw, come on, Miles," said Robbie Ray. "I mean your fans love ya' and think you're perfect in every way, but they don't know you personally. I've known you since the day you were born, so...I know all of your faults."

"I don't know where you're going with this," said Miley. "But...you having to change my diapers doesn't count as a fault!"

**END OF STRIP**

**A/N: Brace yourselves, this next strip is kind of gross. Gross, but intimate. If you're afraid to read it, just scroll down to the part where it says "END OF STRIP" without reading it.**

Miley was sleeping over at Lily's house. It was night, and they were both asleep in the living room, in sleeping bags. In the middle of the night, Lily woke up. For a moment, she forgot where she was and why she was there. After all, Lily always said that when you sleep in any place other than your own room, when you first wake up, you think "Where am I?" Lily turned over and looked at Miley. She was fast asleep, laying on her back. She looked so beautiful, the way her pretty face blended in the dark. Lily smiled blissfully at the sight.

Lily tried to get back to sleep, but she ended up tossing and turning. Lily opened her eyes again and thought for a moment. She suddenly got a mischievous idea. She formed an evil smile. Lily loved Miley, but they were so close that she liked to joke around every now and then. Lily got out of her sleeping bag, and tiptoed toward the kitchen. When she reached the kitchen, she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of mustard. She smiled excitedly at the mustard.

Lily tiptoed back into the living room with a mischievous smile. She straddled Miley on her knees, opened the bottle of mustard, and squirted mustard on Miley's face to make it look like she had a yellow beard! Lily was really amused by this, but she still had to keep quiet. Lily snickered, then kissed Miley on the forehead.

There was one more part to this little prank. Lily got up and tiptoed back towards the kitchen. She opened the fridge, and this time she took out a bottle of chocolate syrup. Oooo, this was going to be good!

Back into the living room, Lily straddled Miley again. She opened the syrup bottle and squirted chocolate syrup on Miley's forehead, writing the word "Psycho"!

This was so funny! Lily wanted to make it last. So, she got off of Miley, tiptoed over to a cabinet, opened it, and pulled out...wait for it...a camera! Lily then stood over Miley and took a picture of Miley's face!

The next morning, Miley woke up, stretched, and yawned. She was suddenly puzzled, because she felt something wet on her face. Miley touched her jaw, looked at her her hand, and was surprised to see mustard on it! She looked beside her and saw nothing but an empty sleeping bag. Lily had already gotten up. Miley got out of her sleeping bag and looked into a mirror on the wall. When she saw what had been done to her face, she was shocked and angry. "What the...?" Miley exclaimed.

Lily suddenly came into the room laughing. She was holding up the picture of Miley she took the night before. "Wow! I really caught your good side, didn't I Miley?" said Lily followed by more laughter. Miley roared with anger, with her arms up and her fingers curved, and chased Lily all over the house.

One week later, Lily was sleeping over at Miley's house. They had mostly forgotten about what happened at Lily's house the previous week. Again, they were sleeping in the living room, in sleeping bags; only this time they were at Miley's house. Miley woke up in the middle of the night. She turned over, and looked at Lily. She was fast asleep, laying on her back with her mouth hanging open. Miley smiled blissfully as she moved her head. _Wow, _thought Miley. _Even when she has her mouth hanging open, she still looks like an angel._

Miley tried to get back to sleep, but soon, she found herself putting her hand on her crotch, with her teeth clenched, eyes squinted, and while shaking. She had to go to the bathroom. Miley got out of her sleeping bag. She walked across the room, but then stopped in her tracks and looked at Lily. Miley then got a mischievous idea, even more mischievous then Lily. One word popped into Miley's head: Revenge.

The idea Miley had seemed to be going a little too far, but she and Lily were so close that Miley was sure Lily wouldn't hold it against her. Miley took of her pants, then her panties. She straddled Lily's face standing up, and started _WHIZZING IN LILY'S MOUTH!_

Lily started to gargle in her sleep, then she suddenly woke up with her eyes widened. She spit Miley's whiz out of her mouth, verbally groveled, and crawled out from under Miley backwards! Miley stopped whizzing as Lily looked up at her with a shocked, angry expression. Miley gave Lily a goofy look, not the least bit scared of Lily's reaction. Not to Miley's surprise, Lily's angry expression soon faded. She looked away from Miley, then she actually licked her lips! Now _that did _surprise Miley!

Lily looked back up at Miley and smiled. "Next time," she said. "Why don't you put it in a cup?"

"Why, do you like piss?" said Miley still with a goofy grin.

"No," said Lily. "I like _you."_

This was just amazing. Too incredible to believe. "Oh, come 'ere, you!" said Miley. With that, Miley got down on the floor, and she and Lily hugged and kissed (yes, they kissed after Miley had whized in Lily's mouth). Anyone could easily admit, this was love.

**END OF STRIP**

** Original scene from actual episode of "Hannah Montana" with alternate lines**

Miley and Lily were in gym class, outside, at school. There were two captains who were about to pick their teams for a flag football game. Lily was one of those captains, and the other was a girl Lily just couldn't stand: Joanie Pulumbo. Before captains were assigned, Miley had been complaining that she always got picked last. After all, she sucked at sports. But this time, since Lily was one of the captains, she knew she would get picked first!

Before the captains started picking, Miley and Lily were confronting Joanie. "You're goin' down, phony Joanie!" said Miley.

"Who smells like week old baloney!" said Lily.

"That sits in your locker all aloney!" said Miley.

"Right on top of that..." said Lily. "That..."

"Melted ice cream coney!" said Miley finishing Lily's sentence.

Lily turned to Miley. "Ooo, girl, you are in the zoney!" said Lily.

"Doesn't matter who you pick, Truscot," said Joanie. "Your ass is mine!"

"You want my ass? Awwww!" said Lily sarcastically. "I didn't know you felt that way about me!" Joanie gave Lily a disgusted look. Joanie got burned! Miley and Lily laughed and gave each other a high five.

**A/N: I'm not sure about that line that says "That sits in your locker all aloney." Forgive me if I got it wrong.**

**END OF STRIP**

** The following strip takes place in the season "Hannah Montana Forever"**

One day, Jackson was at home, watching T.V. with Sienna Grace. Suddenly, Hannah Montana and Lola Luftnangle entered through the back door. Sienna turned to Hannah and Lola. "Hi, Hannah!" said Sienna.

"Sienna, it's me, Miley" said Hannah.

"Yeeeaaahhh..." said Sienna with a smile. "But nonetheless, I love you, Hannah!"

Jackson was disgusted. "Great!" said Jackson sarcastically. "I finally get a girlfriend, and she's sellin' me out to mah' sister!"

Sienna turned to Jackson. "Ooohhh," said Sienna tenderly. "You know she can't please me the way _you _can, _Jacksy Wacksy!_" said Sienna playfully touching Jackson.

Jackson giggled. "Oh, Siennee Wannee!" said Jackson playfully.

"Ugh!" said Hannah. "Barfy warfy!"

**END OF STRIP**

Lily was on a date in a restaurant. Not with a girl, but with a guy. This guy was different from all the other guys she had dated. He was a gamer, who everyone had picked on. Lily saw potential in him, because she loved sensitive guys. "You know, Lily," said the guy. "A lot of people make fun of me for being a gamer. I mean, video games are a little cooler these days, but people don't really like the way I do it. Thanks for giving me a chance."

"My pleasure" said Lily. "So, tell me about the last game of Warcraft III you played."

"Well," said the guy. "About the 5th time my opponents attacked me, I took out their entire undead army, except their one hero, the dreadlord, who then started to run away. My troops autonomously started to chase him down and try to kill him, but I told my troops to turn back. I was like 'forget it, he's not worth it. He's only going to lure me all the way to his base where all his booby traps are.'"

Lily smirked. "You said booby!" said Lily. Lily and her date laughed.

**END OF STRIP**

** Original scene from actual episode of "Hannah Montana Forever" with a new line added**

One afternoon, Lily was folding clothes and a big table cloth in the kitchen, while Jackson was over in the living room, sitting on the couch, studying. "Jackson, can you help me fold these?" asked Lily.

"Gee, let me think..." said Jackson. Jackson shook his head and said in a high pitched tone "mm mm." Jackson paused. "Studyin'," said Jackson. "Got a big test comin' up."

"Since when do you study?" asked Lily.

"Since I found out Sienna gets romantic when I get an A" said Jackson.

"So in other words, you're just friends" said Lily.

"_So in other words you're just friends!"_ mimicked Jackson. Lily and Jackson repeatedly mocked each other indistinctly for a few seconds. Jackson looked up at the ceiling as he shouted "LORD, PLEASE! ONE MILEY IS BAD ENOUGH!"

**END OF STRIP**

**A/N: And that's the last one! Hope you thought it was funny as I did! Special thanks to the reviewer, V-C Freak. That's the longest review I've ever gotten! I'm glad you liked the Miley/Lily/Oliver threesome. Hope you weren't disappointed by the ending, though. I honestly can't tell whether you're a girl or a guy, but what were you talking about when you referred to the "hints" at Oliver on the show?**

**Coming soon: Hannah Montana "Do you believe in creeps?"**


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